Read me on The Fox Magazine
creature feature. (ok not really but I just wanted to say that)
Storm clouds hang over most of my past. Things were never easy for me the way they seemed to be for other people. I was always a step behind in areas that I felt were too important for me not to excel in, such as making friends with people who don’t steal from you/lie to you/mentally torture you/abandon you. In other areas I just seemed to lack motivation, and I think the increased lack of motivation I’ve felt in new things I take on has come from a lack of faith in myself and in the belief that “God has a plan for you”.
See, if someone’s got a plan for me, I want to look over the blueprints and see what exactly is going to happen. I can’t do that though, so in the need to know everything that is going to happen in my life before it happens, I became a Planner. I’m talking not only planning when I will move again, but the furniture for this amount of square feet versus that amount of sq ft. Excessive right? That unit, that couch, that lamp might not be available 11 months from now, yet all of it is bookmarked away in a folder. And that is just living space plans. The amount of time and energy I spend agonizing over the future instead of taking care of today is a little scary.
I can’t control everything, I can’t predict my future, but if I remember to have a little faith that if I make the best out of today, then perhaps tomorrow won’t be so bad, maybe I can make it alright.
Daily Prompt: In Good Faith.
imposter king say you’ve come to save me,
say the madness won’t tear me asunder-
into so many salt watered pieces.
i would brace the four winds to wash up on your shore,
you’re safe in flight miles away
and my tears keep me drowning here,
my heart too far from home to stay afloat.
Posted in dark, Joy, Poems
Apparently, today’s the 3 Year Anniversary of the day I joined WordPress?! Say whaaaat?
What originally was created as a place to vent about troubled times has slowly turned into a place to share my writing. I still don’t share as much as I probably should be, but I am making progress in becoming comfortable with releasing things I’ve written into the world for scrutiny. I guess I should write something and post it later??!! XD