Category Archives: distress

Jingles

Just following me one day

Just following me one day

I was almost seven and after relentless pleas my parents finally wore out and took me to the animal shelter. All the cats were loud, there were a lot of people, it was kind of scary. There you were, all the way at the end huddled in the back of your cage. You looked scared. The shelter lady said your old owners left you in the cold. I looked in your green eyes and saw loneliness, you thought you had good people but you didn’t. I thought I had good friends but I didn’t. I was just the weird girl. You were just the quiet cat.
I took you home, you were scared at first. You jumped onto the counter and on top of the fridge. You knocked down all the cereal but I didn’t care. I just gave you time. You were so curious, especially at Christmas, you almost pulled the tree down. (Actually I think you succeeded a few years later, if memory serves me well.)
You were my little shadow but I followed you as well. Early in the morning around and around the dining room table because you were bored and wanted to play chase.
Fifteen years is a long time. I’m glad I got to spend that time with you. See you on the other side my furry darling.

something stole it

Have you seen my joy?

It seems I had it moments ago but now cannot find it.

I don’t have time for a long search,

I’ve a million things to do!

It was lost-or someone stole it,

I wonder who could have-ah

those little thieving rascals got their grubby hands on it.

My feet ache, my heart grows weary with the chase.

Just give it back, I beg you

but they turn around and say

You left your joy in yesterday

when you did not dance today.

Inadequacy

I no longer know what I can do,

in everyone’s eyes my time is already up to be anything.

Regulated to the trash bin is any bright future I could have had,

is any respect I could have earned,

I have no earning potential now

-at least none that matters.

I do not know how to walk this path I never wanted to follow,

and though I have tried many times to leave it

something always pushes me back, over, down.

I am lying helpless asking for a chance of redemption,

I never meant to fail you.

It’s Terrifying

It builds in your chest like a mass of cells,

replicating, spreading, destroying you

from the inside and you can feel it burn

like smoke, can’t catch it can’t grab it.

The terror escapes you in one wordless scream

as you are faced with your own mortality.

 

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